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I'd flip through catalogues and wonder, "What kind of living room set defines me as a person?" As they the say in the movie Fight Club, when you buy furniture, you tell yourself "That's it. That's the last sofa I'm gonna need. Whatever else happens, I got that sofa problem handled."
Being the thorough person I am, I had to test my potential new sofa in every way imaginable before committing to the purchase. I sized it up with my measuring tape. I sat on the side cushions. I sat in the middle cushion. I looked underneath it. I laid down on it. I took a brief nap on it. I asked the Cute Sales Manager Chick to spoon with me on it.
I guess I was taking too long looking at this couch. The Older Sales Lady came over to say, "Don't think about it too much. It's just a couch. In a few years, you'll find a wife who will decide she hates it, and make you buy a whole new set anyway."
She had a point. I said, "I'll take it!" She replied, "You're in luck. We only have one left. We'll deliver it tomorrow!"
So I proceeded to the checkout counter to pay for my new sofa. I handed my credit card to the Confused Looking Checkout Lady. She clicked away on her keyboard, entering my order. I was asked to sign and date something. So I checked the date on my cell phone and placed it on the counter.
I was about to sign the credit card slip, when Confused Looking Checkout Lady said, "Wait, that can't be right. I charged you an extra $1,700 for delivery."
I retort, "Uh.... yea, I don't think that's right. If delivery is that much, I'd rather drag the sofa out of here on my back!"
Cute Sales Manager Chick laughed at my joke, as she dangled her wedding ring in my face... a non-verbal cue to stop asking her to cuddle on my couch.
Confused Looking Checkout Lady reversed the charge, giving me a full credit. Then she ran the card again, this time attempting to charge the correct total. But my card was rejected. Denied!
Immediately, my cell phone rang. Well, it vibrated. Vibrated loudly across the sales counter, where it had been sitting since I took it out of my pocket. Confused Looking Checkout Lady jumped and exclaimed, "That scared me!"
Good. That's what you get for trying to slip an extra $1,700 charge by me.
The caller was my credit card company's fraud department. They said, "We are calling to warn you about some suspicious activity on your account." So I explained the situation.
They reminded me, "Had this been a real case of fraud, Ryan, we just want you to know that you wouldn't be held responsible." And I was like, "Thanks bro! Nice to know you got my back."
Ten minutes later and Confused Looking Checkout Lady finally completed the sale of my couch. I headed for the exit, holding about 5 receipts worth of erroneous charges and reverse credits.
I gave Cute Sales Manager Chick one last wink, and she responded by using her wedding ring to cut glass, just to prove to me that it is, in fact, a real diamond.
Despite that ordeal, I can finally say... I got my sofa problem handled. I am close to being complete.
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| Henry said: | March 04, 2006, 11:07 AM |
| Rob said: | March 04, 2006, 07:20 PM |
I just hope you dont construct an imaginary friend named Tylor and then blow up your own condo resulting in you creating and underground boxing club that results in the creation of project mayham and which then leads to the destruction of the credit card industry cus that would be way to weird.
| Jeff Wilson said: | March 06, 2006, 12:46 PM |
Ouch, I hate it when women bust out the wedding band. When I was in high school I worked as a dish washer at a restaurant. I was told to help this girl wash the pots and pans. We washed dishes for a few minutes in silence until I broke the ice by saying,"Hi, I'm Jeff. What's your name?" to which she repiled "Maria, I'm married." I was just trying to make conversation. I wasn't asking her on a date. Anyway, I dig that new couch. It looks good next to that wall. Looks like a good couch to nap on.
| MPT said: | March 06, 2006, 03:03 PM |
I want a cool brick wall inside my house too. Nice Sofa BTW.
| Scarlet said: | March 16, 2006, 10:23 PM |
Ha, great story. Glad it worked out.
| Jonathan Spafford said: | June 23, 2006, 01:50 PM |
Sofa. Not couch. hah!
You getting some new digs?